Resilience is a skill that everyone needs to overcome obstacles and manage life’s challenges. Yet this essential quality seems to be on the decline in young people. Building resilience in children will help them do better in school and give them a better chance to be happier and more successful throughout their lives.
Let’s start by considering why resilience skills have declined, and the advantages resilient kids have as they grow and mature. Then we’ll reveal how school staff can identify students who need to build resilience and provide support to facilitate more resilient kids.
Experienced educators are reporting a decline in students’ resilience skills. Why has this happened?
Aftermath of the pandemic. Remote learning reduced expectations on young people for a few years. Not only during the lockdown period when students were living through traumatic times, but also when schools reopened and operated in hybrid mode. Then suddenly, after years of disrupted learning and changed habits, everything was supposed to return to normal. Compound that with higher expectations to make up for learning loss. Students were not prepared for the pressure they faced, and continue to face, after years of missed opportunities to build resilience.
More time on digital devices. Young people are spending more time playing video games and doing other activities on digital devices, where they have become accustomed to getting instant rewards from exerting little effort. It’s actually rewiring their brains! So it’s not surprising that many students have trouble mastering skills (like schoolwork) that require them to keep trying and tolerate frustration.
Building resilience in children will take a deliberate effort from the adults in their lives. Here’s why it’s worth it.
Simply stated, resilience gives people the grit and tenacity to keep trying when things get tough. That’s a huge benefit when learning a challenging skill that takes time and repeated effort to master.
Whether it’s reading, math, or physics, mastering academic skills requires regular practice over an extended period of time. Learning them can be difficult and frustrating at times. Building resilience gives children an advantage, because they are better equipped to keep trying when they experience challenges.
Resilience helps young people master much more than academic skills. It also helps them make friends, navigate family issues, master sports or hobbies, or learn to play an instrument, to name just a few. As they grow, resilient kids are able to self-regulate, experience less anxiety, and enjoy better mental wellbeing. Longer term, they are more likely to finish post graduate goals, stick it out in a challenging job, and maintain positive relationships.
Students showing these signs likely need help building resilience:
Here’s how we can help at school, and also support parents in teaching resilience to children.
As with other beneficial skills that we want to teach our students, we start by modeling resilience ourselves. Remember that kids internalize what we do even more than what we tell them to do. Let students see the way we respond to adversity and persist when things are difficult.
Through social media, students have learned to avoid failure at all costs. Combat that thinking by teaching students that failure is not only normal, but necessary for learning. That means we need to accept their mistakes and react appropriately when they happen. Then help them manage their feelings of frustration.
Try asking open-ended questions to find out what’s behind a student’s resistance or lack of motivation in class. Once we understand what they are struggling with, we can adjust our approach accordingly.
When a student is overwhelmed, try breaking the task down into more manageable and less intimidating steps. What small step can the student take toward their goal?
When a child is struggling, offering alternative ways to accomplish a task can give them a sense of control and make it less stressful. But don’t make the options too easy. At a certain point we will need to push them outside their comfort zone.
Boosting resilience requires interacting with others and building social skills. Make interactive lessons a habit in your classroom. We can also ask students to help one another when feeling frustrated, which has the added benefit of giving a child the opportunity to shine.
Every child’s temperament is different, and some will need more help with resilience than others. Let’s take the time to get to know our students and adjust our expectations.
Build in opportunities to check in with students to evaluate their progress and where they may need a little more help and encouragement.
Celebrating every tiny step can actually undermine resilience. Instead, notice and acknowledge a student’s effort during the intermediate steps to build confidence, and celebrate when they have achieved their goal at the end.
Encourage parents to create the foundation for resilience at home, with a healthy balance of sleep, nutrition, movement, communication, and a positive attitude.
Also, remind parents about their role as models for resilience. Their kids are internalizing what they do.
Want to share these tips with your colleagues? Download this quick reference guide.
Providing a solid education for our youth is more challenging than ever, yet it’s essential for our future. Thrive can help with professional development and embedded mental health support.
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